


Nutter Butters and Hot Cocoa

by 2honeycomb_curls2



Category: South Park
Genre: Angry Kyle Broflovski, Angst, Coming Out, Eric Cartman Being An Asshole, Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gay Kyle Broflovski, Homophobic Language, Kinda, M/M, Musician Stan Marsh, Self-Harm, anti-Semitism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-09
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:29:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,107
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25799725
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/2honeycomb_curls2/pseuds/2honeycomb_curls2
Summary: Cartman’s always been an asshole. No, that’s too kind. Eric Cartman has always been a sadistic piece of racist, homophobic, anti-Semitic, dog shit. But Kyle is always the first to push back, and maybe, one day, he pushes too far. And maybe Cartman really doesn’t know when to stop.Either way, Stan is the one who pays the price.
Relationships: Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh
Comments: 4
Kudos: 95





	Nutter Butters and Hot Cocoa

**Author's Note:**

> So listen. I started rewatching South Park over quarantine and I told myself I was NOT going to get into it, I’m just here for a cheap laugh. Then I saw some good fanart. Ok whatever. I’m always a good fan art way from shopping something. Then I started reading fanfic. And now I’m... here. Anyway, I’m depressed, starved of good queer content, and really craving fucking Nutter Butters. This is me admitting defeat. Enjoy!!

Stan and Kyle have always been close. Ever since they were babies they had been best friends, so it’s no surprise that they tell each other everything.

So Kyle isn’t quite sure why he hasn’t told Stan that he’s gay. Of course, he knows why. Deep down inside he’s scared. Deeply terrified of being removed and replaced. But that’s not the answer he’s looking for when he thinks long and hard about this part of himself he’s hidden away, and so he just chalks it up to it never being the right time. 

Kyle also knows that this is a lie. There have been plenty of ridiculously cheesy, coming-of-age movie moments where Kyle could have spilled everything. But he didn’t. So here he was, junior year, still desperately hoping that Stan could just look into his soul so he could save himself the trouble of actually communicating his thoughts.

It’s a seemingly normal day, or as normal as it tends to get in South Park, and Kyle is berating Cartman about the latest insensitive comment he’s made. 

“Shut up, Jew. You don’t know anything.” Cartman spat, causing Kyle to roll his eyes. 

“Oh, please. I know more than you, fatass.” He doesn’t even remember what they’re bickering about, but whatever it was, Cartman was getting on his nerves. 

“Oh, Jesus. Will you both just cut it out and let me eat my lunch in peace.” Stan says, though he’s looking at Cartman pointedly the whole time he’s complaining. 

“Well it’s your little boyfriend who always opens his Jew mouth.” Cartman sighs. 

“Stan is not my boyfriend, Cartman! Just shut the fuck up.” Kyle says, ignoring the slight blush he feels coloring his cheeks. 

“I’ll bet you wish he was your boyfriend.” Cartman mumbled. 

“Cartman, stop it.” Stan said. “Just eat your fries, fatass.” 

“Whatever. You’re probably just pissy because Kyle didn’t suck your dick this morning.” 

“God, Cartman! Will you just shut up. Shut the fuck up for five fucking minutes you worthless piece of shit! God damnit!” Kyle all but screamed. Everyone in the cafeteria turned to look at them, Cartman wide eyed in shock, Kyle actually seething with rage. “You never know when to stop, Cartman.” Kyle said, quieter and with an eerie calm in his voice. “Everyone’s sick of your shit.” 

After a beat of silence, some people went back to what they were doing, as Kyle continued to glower at Cartman. “Kyle.” Stan said softly. He put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder gently, only to be violently shrugged off as Kyle stood and stormed out of the cafeteria. 

“Nice going, dickweed.” Kenny said, with no real malice behind it. “You really went too far this time, I guess.” 

Cartman squinted angrily at the door Kyle has just left through. “I’m gonna get him back for that. That was totally uncalled for.” Stan scoffed at that but it was seemingly unheard. “I am gonna get him back big time.”

///

“Why do we have to go to this stupid party?” Kyle whined to Stan, positioned on the boy’s bed so he could hang his head over the side and see Stan’s face. 

“Because, dude, Wendy invited us. I gotta go if I wanna get good boyfriend points.”

Kyle chewed the inside of his cheek, hating how much he hated the mention of Wendy’s name. “Yeah, YOU need good boyfriend points. That doesn’t explain why I also have to be dragged along.” 

“I need you there.” Stan smirked. “You’re my super best friend.” 

Kyle groaned at the nickname they’d come up with when they were only eight. “Whatever. Bebe’s parties are always lame, anyway. Everyone gets wasted and tries to force me to play spin the bottle.”

“What’s wrong with the spin the bottle?” Stan asked, eyes sparkling the way Kyle loved. 

That was another thing Kyle hated himself for noticing. Normal best friends didn’t take notice of the way their best friends’ eyes sparkle. 

Kyle shrugged. “Nothing, if you don’t mind swapping spit with someone you barely know.” 

Stan laughed. “You can’t even know if you hate it or not, you always refuse to play.”

“Well, yeah.” Kyle said, in a small voice, almost like a lost child. “I don’t find the appeal in having my first kiss be meaningless.”

Stan’s eyes softened, resembling soft calm waters rather than the hard diamond color Kyle was used to. “I know, dude. It sucks that you’ve never kissed a girl.” 

Kyle sighed. “It’s whatever. I’m only going to this party because you promised to drive me to school for a week.” Although he had passed the driver’s test, Kyle was still saving up for a car and had to ride the bus to school, which he loathed. Stan would sometimes give him a lift, but most of the time that required Stan to wake up thirty minutes earlier to be at Kyle’s house in time for them to both get to school, and Stan was not a morning person. 

Kyle watched Stan get up from his desk and walk over to his mirror playing with his hair in the reflection. Kyle watched longingly, wanting to be the one running his hands through the dark locks. 

Kyle rolled his eyes at himself. That was gay. Even for him.

Stan turned to look at his friend, looking down at his outfit. “Do you think this shirt is the right mood for the party?” 

He was wearing his old Good Charlotte t-shirt, stretched snugly across his body, showing off his figure. Kyle worried his bottom lip between his teeth as he looked at the section of bare skin that the shirt didn’t cover. 

Kyle shrugged, deciding it would make things awkward if he actually told Stan that he thought him in that shirt was the sexiest thing he’d ever laid eyes on. “ I’m not really sure what this aforementioned mood of the party is. It looks fine.” 

Stan seemed to think for a minute, before ultimately pulling the shirt off and digging through his closet. Kyle watched longingly for a moment before eventually turning his head away as he dug his nails into his palms, not wanting to get caught staring at Stan like he wanted to jump on him. He did, but Stan didn’t have to know that. 

“Dude.” He heard Stan say. “You don’t have to look away when I get changed. We’ve known each other forever.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kyle hummed. He steeled his nerves looking back at Stan who was now wearing a plain black t-shirt. It suited him. Of course it did, everything suited him. 

“Can we go now?” Kyle asked, sitting up on Stan’s bed with his legs crossed. 

“I thought you didn’t wanna go.” Stan said, walking over and flicking one of Kyle’s stray curls. Kyle blushed. 

“I don’t. I just wanna get this over with so I can go home and watch TV, like I would have been doing anyway if you weren’t forcing me to socialize.”

Stan groaned fondly. “You’re so dramatic, dude. Come on. Let’s go.” 

///

The party was just how every party at Bebe’s house was. The minute they walked through the door, Kyle lost track of Stan, so he went to go talk to Kenny instead, except Kenny was always drunk out of his mind by the time Kyle got there. Tonight he seemed calmer, more mellow, and Kyle figures he was probably high rather than drunk. 

Eventually Kyle regrouped with Stan, who was sipping casually on a beer as he talked to Wendy, leaning in close to her and making her giggle. 

Kyle thought, bitterly, that he had no idea what Stan could possibly see in her. Of course he knew the answer. Not only was she the nicest person he’d ever met, but Wendy was also incredibly pretty. 

She was skinny as a rail compared to Kyle, who wasn’t exactly chubby but was still a little heavier than he was in middle school. She had big round eyes and rosy cheeks. And worst of all, her hair was long and straight and dark. Kyle scowled thinking about his own unruly hair, bright red and a crime against anyone who looked at it. He had only stopped hiding it under his green ushanka in eighth grade when Stan begged him to let him see his hair more often, for whatever reason. 

“Alright, everyone!” Bebe shouted, bringing attention to her and breaking Kyle from his absurdly hateful thoughts. “Anyone playing truth or dare, come to the living room!” 

People started migrating towards the living room. Kyle intended to stay where he was, pushed up against the wall and staring angrily at his shoes, but Stan grabbed his wrist and dragged him to the living room with him. 

Kyle ended up being plopped on the carpet between Stan and Kenny, taking notice that Cartman was sitting across from him, seemingly scheming. 

“Alright, I’ll go first.” Bebe chirped. “Let’s see... Token. Truth or dare?” 

“Dare.” Token said confidently. Bebe giggled. “I dare you to kiss the prettiest girl in the room.”

Token leaned over, kissing his girlfriend Nichole, which was expected. Kyle rolled his eyes. It was a lame first dare. 

The game progressed and Kyle ended up doing a few stupid dares himself, beginning to relax a little bit, against his will. It wasn’t that he hated parties. He just hated being a third wheel. And he always happened to be a third wheel at parties, he thought as he watched Stan whisper something to Wendy before kissing her temple. 

“Alright, Jew. Truth or dare?” Cartman said eagerly. Kyle sighed, running through all the malicious dares Cartman probably had planned for him. “Truth.” He decided. 

He noticed Cartman trying not to look to pleased. “Aw, you’re so boring. Whatever. Let’s see, what can I ask you?” He was really putting on a show, and Kyle would never admit it but it made him a little queasy. 

“I know!” Cartman said. “Is it true that you’re a homosexual?” 

Kyle rolled his eyes. “Not everyone you get mad at is gay, Cartman.” 

“Answer the question, Jew.”

“No. I’m not a homosexual.” He said boredly, prepared to find someone to ask truth or dare. 

“Oh, really?” Cartman continued. “You’re not? You’ve never thought about kissing a boy?”

“I already said no.” He was starting to get annoyed. “Move on.” 

“But Kyle, if you’re not gay, then maybe you want to explain why you’re gay for Stan.” He said smugly. 

“What?” Kyle said. He knew his voice was shaky but he didn’t care. “I’m not.” 

“Really? Then why are you always staring at him?” 

Kyle began digging his nails into his palms. “I have no idea what you’re trying to do here, Cartman, but I’m not gay.” He said through gritted teeth. 

“You’ve already said that. You have yet to answer my question. Why are you always staring at him.”

“Jesus! I’m not!” Kyle choked out, squeezing his fists tighter. 

“Knock it off, Cartman.” Stan said, as everyone else in the circle just stared, not sure what to do. 

“What’s the matter, Stan? Are you grossed out that this little fag has a gay little crush on you? I would be too.” 

“I do not have a crush on Stan!” Kyle shouted, getting the attention of people outside the circle as well. “You better shut your mouth or-“

“Or what? What’s the matter, Kyle? Are you scared that everyone’s gonna realize I’m right?” 

“No.” Kyle said, tears beginning to well up in his eyes. “You’re just making a fool of yourself. I already said I’m not gay and I don’t have a crush on Stan.”

“Lay off, Cartman.” Kenny said, the usual calm in his voice replaced by concern. 

“Just shut the fuck up.” Kyle said as he stared angrily at the carpet in front of him. 

“You’re supposed to tell the truth, Kyle. The game is called truth or dare. Of course, I already know the truth. I’ve seen your Google search history.”

Kyle’s head snapped up. “What? Don’t-“

“Would you like me to tell everyone what it says?”

“Cartman!”

“Are you gay, Kyle, yes or no?”

“I’m-“ 

“Answer me!”

“Yes!” Kyle blurted, gasping after he spoke. “I mean-“ he looked around at all the people gaping at him. 

“Dude.” Stan whispered softly, and Kyle couldn’t bear it. He stood suddenly, nails still digging harshly into his palms, and all but ran out of the house, leaving everyone to stare in shock at his retreating figure.

///

Stan tried to get a hold of Kyle the whole rest of the weekend, but to no avail. He wasn’t answering his phone, and when Stan went over to his house Sheila informed him that Kyle wasn’t up for visitors. 

On Monday morning Stan woke up thirty minutes earlier than usual so he could get to Kyle’s house in time to pick him up in time to drive him to school. 

He was anxiously aware that Kyle probably wouldn’t want him to drive him to school. He probably wouldn’t even want to talk to Stan. Maybe he wasn’t even going to school that Monday. Maybe he convinced Sheila he was sick to avoid the jolting confrontation that was a small town high school.

Still, Stan stopped at the gas Station before going to Kyle’s house, picking out a pack of Nutter Butters and some hot cocoa from the coffee machine, Kyle’s favorite combo. 

Stan pulled into the Broflovski driveway, taking a deep breath before getting out of his beat up old car and making his way to the front door. 

He was just about to knock when the door swung open, forcing him face to face with Kyle. 

“Oh.” Kyle said, eyebrows knitting together in apparent confusion. “Stan. Hey.”

“Hey.” Stan said, just as awkward. “Uh, I promised I’d drive you to school... for a week. Remember?”

“Oh, dude. You don’t have to do that.” Kyle sounded frustratingly apologetic, especially since he had nothing to apologize for. “I don’t wanna make you late.”

“Dude, we’re both gonna be late if you don’t get in the car. Come on. I got you Nutter Butters.” 

Kyle wouldn’t meet his eye. He seemed to mull it over for a moment, before eventually nodding and stepping out of the house, following Stan to the car. 

The drive to school was mostly quiet. Stan tried to talk to Kyle for a while, only receiving one word answers in return, before eventually giving up and just tapping his fingers against the steering wheel nervously. 

Kyle started out the window, watching the world pass by in a blur of green and white and gray. Neither of them reached to turn the radio on, deciding unanimously that awkward silence was better then awkward silence with background noise. 

It seemed like hours and at the the same time not long enough before they pulled into the school parking lot. Stan stopped the car but neither of them moved to get out. 

Eventually Kyle spoke. “Listen. I get it if you’re upset about what happened at the party. Like, I totally get it, dude. But it’s... it’s true so. You can’t just ignore it either.” He sat for a moment before glancing nervously at his friend. “Stan? Can you say something?”

Stan went to say something but his mind blanked. He instead focused on Kyle’s hands, which were bleeding from him squeezing his hands in fists so tight. 

“Hey.” Stan said, gently grabbing his left hand and uncurling it, and he noticed deep crescent-shaped indents on Kyle’s palms. “Dude. Don’t do that.” 

He looked up, noticing that Kyle’s face was wet with tears. “Do you want me to get out?” Kyle asked, still avoiding his eye. 

“No.” Stan said firmly. “I don’t.”

Kyle nodded. “Ok. I just- we’re gonna be late for first period.” 

“I don’t care.” Stan said. He hadn’t felt tired until now, but all he wanted was to lay down with Kyle and sleep. Kyle nodded again. 

After another minute of them saying nothing, Stan still grasping Kyle’s hand gently to peer at his palm, Stan sighed. He placed the palm of his hand on Kyle’s, lacing their fingers to hold his hand properly. Kyle finally looked at him, in surprise at first, then seemingly regret. “Stan. Don’t.” He said, thought he made no effort to let go of Stan’s hand. 

“Why not?” He asked, voice more scratchy than he remembered it being. 

“You know why.” Kyle said in what was almost a whine. “I don’t want you to hold my hand just because you’re sorry for me. Just because I’m your stupid super best friend who happens to have a stupid super gay crush on you.”

“I’m not holding your hand because I feel sorry for you.” Stan said surely. “I’m holding your hand because I want to hold your hand.”

Kyle eyes him warily. “Oh yeah? And what about Wendy? Don’t you want to hold her hand?” He sounded more sad than angry, but he was still glaring at their intertwined hands. 

Stan sighed. “Kyle. I’m not dating Wendy.”

He looked up at him in obvious surprise. “What do you mean? Did she break up with you?” 

Stan shook his head solemnly. “No dude. I was never dating Wendy. Well, ok. I was. For like a month. But the rest of it is all fake. You know, just for show.” 

“But. Why?” Kyle asked. He looked like was about to start crying again. 

“Because. I didn’t wanna have to tell the whole town what I told her. That I’m gay. And I’m in love with my super best friend.” 

Kyle was still staring intensely at their hands, his cheeks furiously flushed. He was silent for a beat before laughing wryly. “You’re just lying to make me feel better.” 

“Kyle.” Stan said, lifting his chin with his index finger so that their eyes met. “I’m not lying.” 

Kyle bit his lip. His eyes darted around as he thought about something. And then, eventually, he pushed his lips against Stan’s, melting against him. 

It wasn’t a perfect kiss. It tasted like tears and they were both smiling like idiots that whole time. But it was theirs. It was their very own kiss. 

“Sorry.” Stan said after pulling away. “Didn’t mean to mess up your very first kiss.” 

“You didn’t.” Kyle assured him before kissing him again, more gently this time. He pulled away with a groan. “This kinda sucks though.”

“How come?” Stan hummed, brushing a stray curl away from Kyle’s face. 

“Because.” He said, grinning widely. “Cartman is gonna be so smug about guessing my secret.”

Stan just laughed, kissing him again.


End file.
